The difference between being forced into marriage and being convinced to enter marriage

To start talking about this issue we have to look at the types of marriage first and where violence is being applied to the bride. Lets start with forced marriage.
You can call marriage a forced marriage when the bride or the groom is forced to enter a marriage without her or his agreement. The reasons are cultural, religious or sometimes a matter of money and finances. Many people think that forced marriage just happens to a female. It is correct that females are the majority in forced marriages but males are sometimes forced to marry too. This violent and humiliating tradition is still widely spread in the world. There are no exceptions because in the past there were no or few marriages that were not forced. This is because the culture sees marriage as a bong between two people not to complete their love but to connect two families for cultural, religious or financial reason.
The forced marriage I want to talk about is the marriage many Arabic women have to enter today. It is not seen as violent or an act of an individual life’s destruction. It is seen as a tradition and not as a crime. The brides sometimes even agree because they never learnt something else. They see their mothers, their aunts, their grandmothers, their friends being married even without seeing their husbands let alone talk to them. Forced marriage has a very short period of engagement. Sometimes the pair enters marriage without even ever been in engagement. When two families want to marry their children and both profit there is nothing that can stop the marriage. No one except the male heads of the family would be able to stop the process. The bride is sometimes not even informed about the marriage.
After all the preparation work is done the reception finds place with all the family parts of both parties in usually very lavish parties that costs the couple months of hard work. The first night differs between America, Africa and Asia and is mostly a traumatic experience for both.
The roles in a forced marriage are set and the marital life starts just after the couple know each other well.

Marriages that are entered because the bride or groom were convinced to do this step into marriage are far more complicated and sometimes develop into a forced marriage.
Marriages where the couple is talked into it are normally held in modern and religious families. The bride or groom is not directly “forced”. They are given a selection of potential husbands or wives and are told to choose. There is no other option and if the youths refuse they are normally forced to marry the best one. But before that they are talked into it. Over and over again the youths hear the advantages of the potential partners and the family tries to convince the youths. If all fails the marriage changes to a forced marriage.

The differences are that in the marriage where the youths have a selection and the forced marriage are very small. Sometimes people mix them up and give unhappy marriages where one partner wasn’t really convinced to enter the marriage, forced marriage. Forced marriage is by far the more dangerous and aggressive form of violent marriages. The youths have no time to object or even no time to leave and find shelter in care homes or in friends care. There is sometimes a very big difference in the ages of the groom and the bride. The marriage where the youths are convinced to enter marriage are less violent because the youths have time to think and object or even leave.

What happens to a youth that refused to enter marriage?

The youth can never contact the family again without being attacked physically or verbally. The relationships in the family break and the reputation and the honour of the family are very bad and friendships with other people in the community break. The youth has to choose between the families wellbeing and satisfaction or their own wellbeing and a better life.
Many youths make the mistake to choose their family and enter a forced or convinced marriage. The youths highest priority should, in the case of unwilled marriage, be their own future.